First... this isn't The Australia Summer Holiday Update that should be the first thing I blogged about at summer's end. I'm still trying to figure out my new camera and how to get all the pictures stored on it off it. I seem to be a piece of gadgetry down so I'm gonna hold off on the holiday update till I have all the appropriate photos. For now I've uploaded a bunch I stole from Sarv, Calex and Cass so hit up my photoblog for those. Full update on the way later.

Second... Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown. I'm very happy with it! But I warn you, this will not appease the anti-American Idiot Crowd. It doesn't sound like American Idiot. It's still another concept album and the punk-opera approach of AI returns in force but it's less anthemic, deals far more with personal trials and the sociopolitical climate of the past 30 years than actually being about politics itself. The sound is more rock than punk and it's done very well, changing tempo and emotion as much between verses as between songs. I like it.

OK. I have a poser for you. What does the term "generation" mean to you. I'm not talking about familial generations. I'm talking cultural generations. I've pondered this idea a fair bit but it came up at dinner, at Sarv's place, whilst we watched a celebrity quiz show called "Talkin' Bout Your Generation." The premise of the show took members of the 3 dominant generations; The Baby Boomers, Generation X and Generation Y (also known as Generation Next) and quizzed them on various aspects of popular culture from the past 40 years or so. It lead to me mentioning my confusion over how one could truly define a cultural generation. Research had led me to believe that Generation X, the much maligned cynical, apathetic, highly-educated but motivationless children of the Capitalist Age were those born between 1965 and 1981. By this definition Jeremy, Calex, Rob and myself are all members of Generation X whilst the rest of you guys (unless someone older than me happens to be reading this) are Generation Y, the internet-dependent, tech-savvy somewhat directionless kids of the Baby Boomers ranging 1982-2000.

Problem I have with this is... it's too sweeping. Generation X is typically typified by a period of discontentment and depression. The dog-eat-dog, look-after-No.1 policies of the Conservative government of Margaret Thatcher in the UK, the Cold War-Wall Street Reagan years of the US. In my opinion, though, for these issues to shape a generation the people in question must be teenagers, at the least. How can someone like myself, born in 1980, possibly have any clue what was going on during this period? I was an infant for most of that period. By the time I was 10/11, and just old enough to really have a clue what was going on the Cold War was over, Bush Sr. was in the White House, John Major was in 10 Downing Street and we had just gone to war with Iraq (legally too. How 'bout that?) I wasn't 13 until 1993 and ended up spending most of my teens with Clinton and Blair. Grunge was on the way out, people had stopped worrying (too much) about war. I personally don't remember Electro, Punk and New Wave. I do remember He-Man, Transformers, Thundercats and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I knew the Star Wars Original Trilogy but was too young to have ever seen them on their release. What's more the rest of you seem to be able to say much the same. Balex was born in 1985 and, by certain definitions, this puts us in different generations. Yet if we talk about pop culture we both had similar Star Wars experiences, we both remember (and loved) Visionaries (short lived but awesome cartoon!) We grew up with much the same music, in the same political atmosphere. We remember the same stuff and don't remember the same stuff. It's rare I ever remember something he doesn't. What's more this would stick Balex (and many of you) in a generation with my little brother, Richard (born 1996) a kid who saw the Prequel Trilogy before the Original Trilogy and thought Jar Jar was funny!! How can these definitions of generations really work?

Here's my take; your generation is defined by the political climate and the pop-culture of your teenage years, usually the most formative time in your lives from a socialised-identity perspective. Therefore I would say a cultural generation is usually limited to about 10-12 years and stretches from the latter years of one decade to the next. I'd consider "my generation," (whatever you wish to call it) as being those born between 1976/7 to 1987/8 with a certain ambiguity at the extremes. Thoughts anyone?

::Wikipedia, that source of eternal knowledge, has since updated its articles and has now placed me squarely in Generation Y with a description that sounds a lot more accurate!::

"My generation is zero. I never made it as a working-class hero..."

Finally..... the Icon has come back..... to Xanga.

Yes, it's been several months since I updated. It's been a good month since I had anything to do with Xanga at all. Right now I'm back on because I'm somewhat drunk, I'm still determined to drink and I'm spinning Avril Lavigne and I really don't give a shit what you think about that! She had promise.... but everyone was all like "she's just a poser, pop-punk wannabe" so she was like "ok! You think that's what I am... I'll be that." Then she released the hellacious "Girlfriend," the personification of inane, obnoxious, gets-in-your-head pop-punk, and it serves you fucking right!

Anyway, I gave up on Xanga. Why? Cos I'm sick and tired of people's bullshit. I'm sick and tired of people casting judgement and calling opinions on issues they have no personal understanding of. No, I'm not talking some weary, everyday sick-of-it kinda feeling. I'm talking "shut the fuck up you fucking knob-sack, sanctimonious, wank-stain-on-the-quilt-of-humanity, too-much-reading-and-not-enough-living fuckard bitch!!! Seriously. Shut your goddamn, mother-fucking shit-hole!!! Right the fuck now! Shut up about people's personal issues. Shut up about homosexuality. Shut up about abortion. Shut up. Stop fucking concerning yourselves with how other people live their lives when you have no idea what they've been through, what they live with every day, what and who they are you arrogant, self-righteous, egocentric son of a bitch! You have an opinion? Fine. Now go out, meet people, get to know them and try to understand them and their lives before you rant and spew your morally superior bile on the internet, free of the burden of empathy, kindness or rationale!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a war. It broke out in Vietnam in the 60s and had a large part to do with the spread of Communism in Asia. The US intervened and a lot of people disagreed with this. Soldiers went out there and fought. Many disagreed, morally and politically, with this. Whilst there these soldiers experienced terrible things, went through hardships and suffering that noone who did not experience it can possibly imagine or relate to. Those soldiers then returned home and got treated very badly by certain groups, discriminated against. Those who discriminated against them had no idea what those people had been through, the roads they had walked, the turmoil they had endured, the realities of their experiences, yet they saw fit to judge them based on their own self-important beliefs.... Now, take a look at the generalities of this scenario. A group of people who did what they felt was the right thing for them, endured great hardships in the process, only to be judged and persecuted by those that disagreed with them, people who had no idea about the path they had walked. I don't care if you're conservative. I don't care if you're liberal. All people are guilty of judging others for their personal choices or state of living. But one thing remains consistent; unless you have walked in those men's/women's shoes, lived their experiences, their exact experiences, you have no right to judge and condemn them. No right at all! Cos guess what? There's always something you've done, at some time, that someone else takes issue with. And there may be more in your future. So before you think about casting judgement on someone else think how you'd feel as and when something you do in the future doesn't entirely agree with someone's personal belief system. Hell, even your own. Life is change. Life is new things, new discoveries. Everyday presents the potential for a different outlook, a new twist or turn in the path of life. Oh sure, everyone likes to think they have the beat on what is right, what is wrong. But guess what? You don't. No one does. So here's some advice; shut up! Shut up with your unempathic, condescending judgements. Shut the fuck up cos you're no different to anyone else; you're just trying to figure out this complex riddle that is life and, for all you know, you have it no more right than anyone else. So shut up and just live and let live. This life is hard enough, making choices, figuring out what is right, without some no-nothing pseudo-intellectual morally superior poser casting aspersions. How about showing some kindness, some acceptance, some understanding towards a person and their struggles, regardless of how you initially feel about it?

I may come back to Xanga now but I may be reducing my friends and subs list considerably. It's nothing personal, if you're in my subs/friends list chances are you've expressed opinions I agree with. But branching out into the larger world of Xanga led me to the crap which turned me off Xanga. Originally this blog was just about staying in touch with my Uni friends, maintaining a dialogue between us and our lives. I wanna get back to that. No more of this Featured Content bullshit. Enough with the rancid, conceited, ill-informed, self-important opinions of soapbox-wannabes with all the words and none of the substance. Enough. Noone in my list does this shit, in my opinion. It's nothing personal. I just wanna get back to a more intimate, diary-like Xanga. Like I intended from the start.

I hope this is the last time I feel the need to make such an angry, profanity-laden update.

"How can I ever get over you.. When I'd give my life for yours...."

So, like I said before, busy month. First, I reluctantly turned 29 on March 10th. Second, my first year at my current schools came to an end and with it the graduations of my 3rd graders and 6th graders. Third, my brother, Chris, came to visit for 1 short week. Fourth, I finally got my PS3 back online and reintroduced myself to the dubious pleasures of online gaming. Fifth, I met up with the karate guys for some nomikai action. Sixth, my swearing rate has tripled, largely due to the fourth point.

Being 29 is much like being 28. Which was much like being 27. Which was much like 26. And so on. The number of orbits since my inception has become more and more meaningless with time and I'm largely past the point of caring. At least I thought I was till this past week. Maybe I'm having a 3rd Life Crisis or something but I've been introspectively pining away for my NUFS days, which happens from time to time, but also for my Preston days (4th year pain and workload excluded.) Wishing I could just be in that place again, that life. But now I'm 11 months from 30 and that life is long, long ago and I know, in a way, I've outgrown it. I really wish I hadn't. Depressing.

What's not depressing is that my contract was renewed for another year so my job is safe again till next March. What is depressing is that I've had to say goodbye to a lot of kids I'd become inexplicably attached to. Especially my junior high 3rd graders. How I came to feel so big-brotherly, even parental, for other people's 15 year olds is one of the great mysteries of my recent life but I shed my share of tears along with several of the students and faculty at graduation. I gave them my e-mail and received several replies. I don't expect to in the future and I know their old ALT will be a distant memory in a few months but.... I miss them. I care about them. I've bugged Nichola at Ena Minami High (whose getting a few of them) with names, pictures and brief personality profiles and realised I've turned into an overprotective parent to teenagers I've known only a year. How, when, why did this happen? No idea. Maybe cos my kids are awesome!

My brother and I at Outback Steakhouse. The Master Replicas box you see to my right contains my present to our other brother, Richard; Yoda's lightsaber, size and colour-appropriate. These are the kind of gifts you get when your brothers are much older and way cool! So Chris' visit was a little hampered by time (only a week) and the fact that much of that week I had to be in work. Chris ended up touring Japan alone for the most part though I did accompany him to Nara and had him come into school with me, as my fencing coach, Paul, and Calex have done before, which is always fun!

Me and guys only Sarv will recognise. Yoshida (Masato) and Yamaoka (Seiya) formerly of NUFS karate club. Yoshida (left) was back in Nagoya inbetween stints ryugaku-ing in China so the 3 of us had a mini-nomikai, along with a classmate of theirs named Aya. These guys were both ichinensei white belts when Sarv and I started so we were all in the same boat (though Sarv and I had it a bit easier, being able to pull the Gaijin Card!) They're also really cool guys and it's been great to see them again, now and previously at nomikai and engagement parties with Sarv. Yamaoka and several of the girls who were white belts back in the day have now graduated and I'm really hoping they don't get sucked into the soul-crushing sarariman/OL work so many Japanese seem to. I really miss these guys and the karate club and nomikai, jouge kankei not withstanding! Wish I'd had better Japanese at the time too, so I coulda got to know them better before now!

Online gaming is highly addictive, highly over-rated and highly rage-enducing. On the plus side, it's good to be able to play anyone, anywhere and match your skills against others. On the minus bad connection can pretty much destroy game-play and so very many of the people out there are cheap, sad fucks and it all causes me to get so uncontrollably angry I'd punch through a giant Buddha or rip the head off a puppy if either were in my direct vicinity at the time. Oh, and I fucking hate Blanka now. I really, really hate him....!!! I hate him more than a truck full of.... yellow lightsaber-wielding.... Fat Boy Slims... biting the chocolate off a kit-kat then eating the wafer on its own.... and talking about "emo" when they mean "scene kids...." With Hitler.

Still, the other day I was playing Ken (Ryu is my favourite, but Ken is my best character) and I finished someone off with one of my speciality combos; cross-up flying medium kick > crouching medium punch > Hadoken > Shoryureppa. The Hadoken scored the finishing blow so the Shoryureppa kicked in just as the "KO" came up and everything went into slow-mo. You could actually see, in slow motion, Ken's mouth forming the words "Shoryureppa!" It was awesome. Street Fighter 4 rocks!

Time to go. Till next time... "Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals, I had a young and optimistic point of view..."

A busy month, March has been, so another marathon update, photos an' all, is on its way. But this is just a quick, reflective update that my pulse is just too short to accommodate. A thought, a feeling I've had lately about Xanga I thought I'd share...

When I first signed up for Xanga it was largely to stay in touch with my friends from NUFS. Matt had a xanga and Sarven and I chose to set our own up so we had a way to converse and show each other what was going on in our lives. Our ranks swelled from their and now many of the NUFS Kids are Xanga-armed. It's been good, for the most part. But lately.... I've really been missing those days. The days when Xanga felt like a hassle-free forum to interact with people with anything between 5 and 5000 miles between them. In an effort to be a more sophisticated blogger I found myself looking over the Featured Content, following threads, getting more actively involved in the Xanga Community. I have begun to wish I hadn't.

Xanga is no longer just an open community for bloggers of all size and shape. It's splintered off into Revelife, Healthkicker, Momaroo, Datingish, Lovelyish, Dollarish and any number of specialised-interest off-shoot communities all offering their thoughts and opinions on any topic that falls under their radar. Then there is the Featured Content which, a lot of the time, has no reason to be other than being occasionally controversial posers made by the same sect of Xanga-lebrities.

Basically... I am starting to dislike Xanga. Being on Xanga. I'm sick of the off-shoots and their tunnel-vision content being paraded across my screen when I sign in, of the Featured Content and its often-toxic ramblings. Whether I agree or disagree with what's being said I'm tired of all the judgementalism, the spite, the name-calling, the ignorance, the intolerance and the bile. The thing is... I'm all for freedom of speech. I'm all for open debate. But when everyone has an opinion and barely any of the facts it gets severely depressing. Lose Faith In Humanity Depressing. Youtube Comments Depressing.

I have updated a grand total of 4 times this year. My first post was just a general "Happy New Year" one so I barely even count it. The reason; Xanga has started to make me feel sick. I have begun to fear signing in for concern over what new bit of Featured Crap-tent (hurhur) will flash up before I can hit moss_icon. I know, I know... I don't have to read them but there is a certain curse in being both politically and socially aware and (somewhat) informed but being a sensitive, heart-on-sleeve, over-empathic INFP too.

Does anyone else wish they could get back to a simpler Xanga?

Peace. Love. Understanding. "I'm a suspect. I'm a traitor. I'm only here in body, visiting..."

I've been video gaming a lot lately. Well, I video game a lot anyway, but this is special. This is Street Fighter 4.

Street Fighter 2 was my first true video gaming obsession. My best friend, Nathan, introduced it to me (like he introduced almost all of my obsessions to me; Final Fantasy, Harry Potter..) when we were 12 and we'd hunt down Street Fighter 2 arcades and get whatever gameplay we could outta a couple of pounds. After years of sequels, pseudo-sequels, off-shoot sequels, prequels and off-shoot prequels we have Street Fighter 4 so I'm gonna spend this update gushing about it!

So, Street Fighter 4 is basically an "inter-quel" between SF2 and SF3. The entire original cast of 12 from Street Fighter 2 remains in tact; the 8 World Warriors; Ryu, Ken, Honda, Blanka, Guile, Chun Li, Zangief and Dhalsim plus the 4 Shadowloo Grand Masters; Balrog (M. Bison in Japan) Vega (Balrog in Japan) Sagat and M. Bison (Vega in Japan.) Along with the old guard are 4 new comers; Abel; a french ex-military guy with amnesia who uses a free-style, Vale Tudo-esque fighting technique. Crimson Viper; a secret agent-type chick in a suit complete with gadgety enhancements. Rufus; an overweight American with unsightly facial hair who uses his own brand of Kung Fu (I wonder if it was derived from a killing style......?) and El Fuerte; a goofy luchadore who's also a chef and is fighting to learn more about other warriors' diets (?? ??) I'm not that big on the new characters, to be honest. Viper is kinda cool and Abel is OK (except to fight against) but Rufus is more for comedic value than anything and El Fuerte is just.... stupid and doesn't seem to fit in somehow....

The game looks absolutely frickin' sweet! The graphics and environments are cell-shaded 3-D, done in a graphic novelly water colour style. All the characters look suitably comic booky which is perfect for Street Fighter. I'm really not so keen on the constant attempts for realism in games, games that are often based in over-the-top, exaggerated versions of reality anyway. Though 3-D modelled the gameplay takes place within the original 2-D format giving the game a truly old school beat 'em up feel. When performing certain dramatic moves, like Super and Ultra Combos, the camera breaks position to give a 3-D view of the action which is.... heaps cool!

For the home console versions Capcom included additional fighters, unlocked by completing the game with various existing characters. Returning for a guest spot in SF4 are Cammy and Fei Long from the Super Street Fighter series, Rose, Sakura and Dan (yahoo!) from the Street Fighter Alpha (Zero in Japan) series, Gen from the original Street Fighter and the Alpha series and Akuma (Gouki in Japan) from Super SF Turbo and the Alpha series. In addition, and after years of rumours, speculation and hoaxes (Sheng Long, anyone? If you get this reference you are worthy of my geeky SF-related recognition) Ryu and Ken's master, Gouken, is also included.  He's pretty rock but tricky to use, as he plays somewhat unusually, compared to the other Ansatsuken (commonly mis-referred to as "Shotokan") users.

Street Fighter 4 plays like a dream. I really enjoy immensely many 3-D fighting games; the Tekken series and Soul Calibur series, especially. But there will always be room for the 2-D fighter. They play in a totally different way and comparisons are kinda pointless. The subtle sophistication in Street Fighter's 2-D gameplay is unmatched and responsible for the game's legendary status in the video gaming world. Combined with the beautiful cell-shaded 3-D graphics Street Fighter 4 is a joy to behold!

There are a couple of weak points, however. The crowning turd in the waterpipe is the game's boss; Seth. I hate Seth. I hate him so very, very much and, for that reason, refused to put a screenshot of him in this post. His design is lame; little more than the standard Uses A Mesh Of Existing Fighter's Moves Guy that seems to be the unfortunate standard for bosses in 3-D beat 'em ups (VF: Dural, Tekken; Ogre, SC: Inferno.) His look even screams "Dural," just a bland, shiny, silver action figure-type guy. Admittedly, his moves are a little more original; usually alternative versions of existing moves such as Dragon Punches, Spinning Piledrivers and Hundred Foot Kicks but..... he suffers from a  severe case of SNK Boss Syndrome (if you get that reference, take another 50 points!) Dear God.... he is the cheapest, saddest most  rage-inducing son-of-a-bitch EVER!!! I'm not gonna get into the hows and whys of that statement, just play the game and you will understand. Oh, you will understand. To the extreme!!! Part of what makes him such a twat is Weak Point 2; the throw timings. The rather generous allowances the games makes for characters with special throws is supremely annoying, as you can find yourself sucked in a Spinning Piledriver or Abel's whilrwindy throw as you are getting up, mid-move, mid-combo, even mid-Super Combo! It makes fighting the likes of Abel, Zangief, Honda and, of course, Seth supremely irritating. My only other point of contention, slight as it is, is the backgrounds. They are beautiful and the music (though I don't normally go in for synthy electronica stuff) is really well done. But I really miss the character-specific stages and leitmotifs . How cool would updated versions of Ryu's castle (with breakable screens), Sagat's Buddha statue or Vega's private bullfighting arena (compete with climbable chain-link fence have been?

So, in other news, I went snowboarding for the first time in Japan a few weeks back with some teachers from my base school. I'll be going  again this Sunday with Gianni, another British Altia ALT from Tajimi. After 4 years without boarding getting back into it was an absolute killer. Snowboarding relies heavily on your thighs so a weekend of it was like doing 1000 squats, at least that's how it felt. I was also so rusty at the start I spent most of my time inching my way down slopes on my heel-edge. Still, by the last hour of the weekend I found myself shredding my way through heavy powder on a 45 degree slope, better at boarding than I've ever been! It really is awesome once you get going!

I'm pretty tense right now has my contract is being decided for next year. I've been given no reason to believe it won't be renewed but the business of being a private ALT in Japan can be pretty cut-throat. It's March tomorrow, which is the last month of my current contract and I'm still not 100% on where I stand. Japanese bureaucracy sure loves to drag things out.....!

OK. That's all from me. 一瞬千撃！"Let is pass, let it pass it on to the future...!"

I blame SARVEN for this update! I'm still waiting for him to update so I can steal photos off him.... But he's taking way too long. Never mind all that PhD stuff and university lecturing! I've seen Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Just go into your office and climb out the window! Anyways I'm afraid this will just be a stop-gap update till I can nick Sarv's pics. The theme; Stuff Dave Hates.

I've noticed a lot of the cool, popular Xangans like to bitch a lot. I guess we can't all be like Theologian's Cafe and throw up a photo, 5 lines of text and get 10 billion comments so people gotta have their hooks. Some people get by on bitching and hating. I'm really not like that but, just this once, I'm gonna give it a whirl. (Inspired mostly by writing that 25 Random Things-thing on Facebook.)

(DISCLAIMER: This update is largely tongue-in-cheek. Although the things I'm about to mention genuinely do irk/bother/annoy/repulse me I am not talking about some of the really serious stuff I hate in the world as this is not that kinda update. It is meant to be taken fairly lightly! Grins!)

Hate, The 1st: Eating Composite Foods In Individual Pieces

There are few people in my life who don't do this. I can explain why it bugs me but not why it does so much. Basically I just get major-league irrits when someone eats something like a chocolate bar, let's say a Twix, by, say, biting off the top-chocolate, licking out all the caramel, then eating the rest. Or an Oreo. Take off the top biscuit, eat it, lick out the cream, eat the bottom biscuit. I know why people do this but it.... it inexplicably enrages me! The way I see it the person who designed the Oreo thought "hey, you know what might taste good? Cream sandwiched between 2 chocolate biscuits (or cookies, assuming he was American.) He did so to create a new taste experience, fusing the cream and chocolate. But if people are gonna eat them individually why not have just made them simple chocolate biscuits/cookies and simple cream-type thingies, shoved them into a packet and sold them not as Oreos but as "Chocolate Thingies and Cream Thingies?" These foods were made to create something new out of 2 or more individual things, like blue and yellow make green. But it totally defeats the purpose of mixing them, putting them together as one food, if people just pull them apart and eat the individual bits, negating the mixture and the new taste experience!

Hate, The 2nd: Other Colour Lightsabers

If there's one thing that most highly successful fantasy writers will tell you it's "define your world's limits." As J.K Rowling put it "rather than decide what can happen in your world, decide what can't." (That isn't an exact quote but it's along those lines.) Less is more, basically. A philosophy I strongly adhere to as a kind-of artist createy-type person. The lightsabers in Star Wars, I have always felt, create a very important symbolic dichotomy; the cool, tranquil colours of blue and green for the Jedi, the crimson red of passion and anger for the Sith. This limited selection not only, for me, symbolically denotes the nature of the Force and the 2 sects that follow it but gives the lightsaber, a weapon, dignity. But as predictably as Bruno went to the I House toilet every night some people, somewhere, completely missing the point that the lightsaber serves as a weapon, not a fashion accessory and it's symbolic qualities from a literary standpoint, whined "I want a yellow one!" Then followed orange, pink, gold, silver, teal, mauve, cyan, vermillion, rainbow-mood sabers, whiter-shade-of-pale and burnt-sienna-corona-surrounding-a-dusty-pink-core-emitting-a-feint-fragrance-of-pot-pourri! (OK, those last 2 I made up but the rainbow saber is actually in Star Wars EU fiction!) I just find this all indulgent bullshit! W.E.A.P.O.N.S. The idea of a limited supply of crystals (in blue and green) is very dignified, with the opposing Sith colour of red created through synthetic, alchemical means. As someone who kinda is a writer this feels very important. It defines the lightsaber, gives it meaning. Pulling your favourite colour outta you arse is just indulgent and lacks credibility from a creative perspective.

(I have, I will note, accepted purple into the dichotomy on the basis it is very rare, as a backstory explaining how and why Windu received it, and lends itself to the symbolism well - purple being a mixture of red and blue, representing Windu's balance of Dark Side and Light Side abilities. I do not, however, like the fact it was included just cos SLJ asked for it. Lucas usually makes a point of forbidding any colours besides blue, green and red.)

Hate, The 3rd: The Bastardisation Of Emo

I updated about this a couple of years ago. My stance is pretty clear to just about everyone who's likely to read this but I have to include it. Emo. The term is derived from the words "emotional" or "emotive." Originally pioneered as a music genre in the early-mid 80s "emo" stood for "emotive hardcore;" musically inspired by punk/hardcore but with an emphasis placed on heart-on-sleeve, emotively visceral content and performances. The genre found its niche, largely, among introverted, emotionally intense, sensitive young people. The term "emo" became a byword for the angsty, the often-depressed, the overly introspective, the extremely sensitive. Basically when I discovered emo I felt like I'd finally found my place in the Young People Subculture Universe. Found something that truly fitted me, that I identified with. It fit my musical tastes/philosophies, fit my personality and (mostly) fit my aesthetics. I had no problem being "emo." I had no problem with people poking fun at me for it cos, by and large, the fun-making had some truth to it. But, alas, no more. Tis not so sweet as it was before. As with anything a "scene" was born, with people interested in it only as a trend, a fashion, rather than believing in any real quality, real depth, real meaning to it. I know this occurs but what bugs me the most is how people now accept the term "emo" for the fakers, not the real-deals. So much the real-deals generally rejects the term these days. I refuse to reject the term on the basis that to use it to describe the fakers is such a glaringly obvious contradiction in terms. These kids, these "scene-mos" (appropriately referred to as "scene-kids" in more knowledgable, informed circles) are not emo. They are superficial posers who will move on to the next scene eventually. This is the very antithesis of what the term originally stood for. It's like deciding to call night day. Bugs the hell outta me.

Hate, The 4th: Intellectual Pretension And Snobbery

You know that kid at school who was somewhat smart but was all-too aware of it and thought way too highly of themselves? The one who watched art-house theatre. Who liked bands no-one had heard of? Who read books by "important" authors? Well, I kinda hate that kid. OK, so liking stuff like that is not, in and of itself, bad. It's just that that kid will so often view his/her esoteric interests as elevating them above the proles. "Oh, you don't like that, do you?" Basically they would say that anything even remotely popular, anything you maybe have actually heard of, is beneath them and their exalted, refined tastes. Essentially, they are better than the rest of us. What is even worse about this kid, though, you know that band they loved? Well, that band had one song played on the radio that several people liked. Suddenly they are "sell-outs" and that kid hates them. Maybe that band changed their sound a bit, maybe they didn't. Either way, they are now "corporate sell-outs!" The band example is evocative of the shallow, vacuous nature of this supposedly "intellectual" choice. Essentially that kid is less interested in the band, the music, and more interested in the deluded sense of ivory-tower elitism it gives them. How about Shakespeare? Darling of the literary circles until too many people began reading him then he was nothing special. Forgive me, but is this not the very definition of shallow? A poser? Essentially this is all "The Emperor's New Clothes;" a self-propagated, deliberately contrived and pretentious standard, of what is "intelligent," "sophisticated," "high-brow." It is set up in a field which is supposed to be about creativity and freedom of expression (art, music, film) just so a bunch of conceited, self-important snobs can feel superior when they have no substantial, credible reason to. So what if it's a venomous social commentary on life in suburban America? It doesn't make it a better book. So what if they use fancy prose and elaborate metaphors? Doesn't make it a better read. For all the high-minded importance people try to attach to these things what do they actually do? What did 1984 really achieve with its harrowing foreshadowing of an out-of-control socialist police state? There is nothing wrong with these works. Nothing wrong with enjoying them and considering them. Nothing wrong with anything you believe in and express creatively. Just don't get so snobby about it. After all perhaps one might consider Harry Potter inspiring a kid to stand by his friends as vastly more important than some self-important piece of political commentary?

Hate, The 5th: Fatboy Slim

Music is pretty damn important to me. There is the stuff I like and the stuff I don't. By and large I don't care for Pop, R&B, Rap, Dance, Techno or anything electronicy, Country or Classic Rock to name a few. But, unless provoked into rants, I generally hold this opinion; music is very personal and different people require different things from it. The music I love does what I, personally, need music to do. That is not the same for others and I respect that. But there is one figure in the..... "music" industry I loath, despise, abhor so intently my adrenalin literally starts pumping and I choke on my own rage when he comes up in conversation; Norman Cook aka: Fatboy Slim. Why I find his...... "work" so grating can be summed up with this quick demo;

Take the chorus of a song. Let's say.... Celine Dion's Titanic song, "My Heart Will Go On."

Repeat Chorus over and over to repetitive electronicy dirge.

You're here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on...

Now hit the pause button and hold it...

You're here in my heart and my heart will go on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on....

And wash, rinse and repeat.

You're here in my heart and my heart
will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're
here in my heart and my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and
my heart will go on. You're here in my heart and my heart will go on.

That is every Fatboy Slim song ever. Ever. Ever. In the world. Ever. I could stand his existence from a far if people didn't take him seriously as a....... *gag* "musician.....?" I mean, What? The? Fuck? All he does essentially is make liberal use of the pause and repeat buttons on a tape recorder!!! On top of that I've heard him in interview and he's a complete douche-bag! I have even considered buying a CD of his, with my own money, just so I can grind it into dust with my foot in front of the store clerk in protest!

OK, that was a seriously long update where I do nothing but rant! Either no one will read this (I applaud you if you did) or I'll make the Featured Content. At last. Mwaaahahahaahahahahahahhahahaaaaaaa!

Later peeps. I wish you love! "I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser... to try and slag me down because I know I'm right!"

It's been 2009 for just over 2 hours now. Spent the day in Nagoya with Sarv and his brother, Sareen, before heading back to Nisshin to meet Calex and his friend, Jeremy (a Proxy-dwelling current NUFS student) for dinner at Saizeria and some TV, in honour of Calex's 27th birthday. Limited sleeping facilities meant I had to leave by 10 to get back to my own bed in Ena. I trekked from Proxy to the Idaka Ryokuchi bus stop, taking in the surroundings, thinking how I hadn't been there, 3 years prior, to see in the new year then. As I walked near I House I felt the pull, the wish that I could walk in through those doors and it be the same I House it was 3 years ago. For everyone to be there.... I haven't missed it quite so painfully in some time but, times like these, the big dates, you remember the important things, the turning points and significant experiences in your life. Some things, they'll never leave us....

So I rang in the New Year on a train, with Sarv trying to keep me on the line as they celebrated following a temple run with Shiho's parents. There's been so much more going on this week, full of action and entertainment, but I'm not gonna get into that now. I'll wait till the pictures are assembled and the dust has settled. For now I just wanna wish everyone a Happy New Year! Hope you had a great Christmas too. Time to rest, I think. Gotta get some sleep this year...!

2009, GO! "(Nothing to lose) Just stuck, hollow and alone. And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own...."

So I spent a long, long time last night writing an update which I saved and decided not to post. It's still saved but it's not this one. No, this is the right update for right now. The other one isn't right for right now. It's kinda a rant and, whilst it's something I rant about often and will come as no big shock to most of you (no, it's not the whole "emo VS scene-mo" thing) it just doesn't feel like the time for a rant. So here's a decidedly lighter-hearted, fun update full of fun, photos and David Wenham.

So, the past few weekends have been rife with boy-sleepovers, macho movies and junk food. The reason? Sarven. I shouldn't have to explain any more than this but I s'pose I will. Sarv is here until January 11th. That time is ticking closer with an alarming rapidity so Matt and I have been wanting to make the absolute most of this remaining time. First on our agenda was 300. Matt and I had never seen it and Sarven would stand for this no more. Definitely an ST movie, but a guy's movie through and through so even Matt and I, in our NFness, revelled in its no-holds barred, balls-to-wall, testosterone-and-blood-fuelled highly quotable melodrama. Couldn't quite figure out why David Wenham put on such a silly voice, though....? (Glad he did, though. It's become quite the in-joke.)

We all hung out the following weekend. Dani cooking up some tasty potatoey, cheesey stew and marvelling at how many cooking materials I don't possess. (Spice-rack? What am I, a Wiccan?) We role-played some followed by another boy's sleepover at my place. Movie of choice for the next day was The Punisher. More no-nonsense ST action. Sarv's two favourite none-Star Wars movies down the weekend after, being this weekend just gone, had us seeking to involve Sarv for the first time in Fat Day. Fat Day was a regular for the NUFS Gym Crew but Sarv had never joined in, being the Wolverine (Matt uses the Green Ranger analogy. I prefer Wolverine) of the group. Matt, Dani and I went round to Sarv's and Shiho's place in Nisshin and got in 3 large pizza's (for the price of 2 large and a medium) from our old Fat Day-friend; the Fujigaoka Pizza Hut. (Photo disclaimer: that's my place below, not Sarv's.)

Sadly (for the Japan-residing) Matt and Dani aren't gonna be here for Christmas. They're gonna be home in Kentucky, flight departing this Saturday. Happily (for the Japan-residing) they will be back on January 3rd which leaves us with a week left to do more stuff. Hope we make as much of that week as we have these past few weekends! The Adult Life is kinda hard to work the cool stuff around but we seem to have done pretty spectacularly lately.

Still, even with the (General) grievous absence of Matthew and Danielle I'm really looking forward to Christmas. It is shaping up to be action-packed, with Calex turning up sometimes next week, I believe (?) and Holly putting in an appearance somewhere along the way. Anyone else? Sarv's family will be here and we're all gonna do the festivities together, get plenty of karaoke in, hopefully more Star Wars RPing (with the original cast assembled) and other stuff as-yet just pencilled in. Just this coming weekend Sarv and I will be nomikai-ing with some of the old NUFS karate club. Remove the often mendoukusai jouge-kankei element and karate nomikai were always good fun!

In other news, news I think many of you will have by now, Sarv and Shiho are engaged! Go offer your positive wishes and support, cos only some kinda ass-clown wouldn't.....!

In other-other news I've been reading Twilight at Chris' urging. I have to admit I was pretty sceptical about how well I would take to a story so heavily focused on teen-romance but... I am kinda getting into it. I'm over half-way through the 1st book and, I gotta admit, I do get tired of hearing just how perfect Edward is and just how obsessed Bella is with him. Keep thinking "talk more about being a Vampire! Do more Vampire-Shit!" But I am finding it pretty engaging and enjoyable.

In other-other-other news I met 3 of the other Ena-ALTs (Abbey, Paul and Chris/Allen) on the train heading to Sarv's on Saturday. Paul and Abbey were feeling pretty snap-happy with their cameras and Abbey took this pic which she says is my "album cover." You know I'm only posting it cos I actually..... like it! Dai-shokku!!!

Love. Peace. David Wenham. "And sometimes you close you eyes and see the place where you used to live..."

I've heard somewhere that you tend to find the weirdest things when you finally clean your place after a long time. I wonder if anyone's ever found a vacuum cleaner, though....? Yeah, so today I decided to blitz my apartment, finally get it looking like someone really lives here. The tatami/living room and kitchen have been fine for the majority of my time here but my bedroom was serving as little more than a junk room I happened to sleep in till today. With a day free thanks to a 3-day weekend I figured it was about time to get it done. When the dust literally cleared I finally had the apartment I had envisioned upon moving in...... and an extra vacuum. I can only assume I forgot I had one and bought another one at some point which is just..... kinda..... stupid. >_< !!! Anyone need a vacuum?

It's good, this feeling. The apartment feels invigorated, fresh, new. Feels like it's finally the place I wanted it to be. The apartment is kinda symbolic (symbolism!) of how I'm feeling right now. Life has been working for me, by and large, but something's been missing. I'm not going into details about that here, publicly, but it's all come to a head lately and suddenly.... I feel alive again. Coming back to Japan always had a certain "Recapture NUFS" element to it but, by and large, it was intended to be the sequel to NUFS, not an attempt at a repeat. A fresh start. It's taken a while to get things going, it seems, but I'm feeling like life is finally happening. Could I actually be.... truly, really.... happy? Kinda think I might be. It's a little scary....

Well, the weekend has been pretty cool. Matt had a wedding in Ena on Sunday morning so stopped the night Saturday. Played a little Force Unleashed but mainly we just talked, a good old heart-to-heart like we used to have. Been a while and it was really great to just sit and talk again. Sunday my cousin, Lee, arrived in Japan on a kinda working holiday. His company is Japanese-owned so he's over for a week on business. Met at the airport and headed into Sakae where we met up with Sarv, Matt and Dani for a bit of a tour.

Everything feels revitalised. Sadly our time with Sarv in Japan is running out. Matt and Dani will leave for Christmas back home on the 20th so the final month's countdown has already begun. I'm looking forward to all we have planned over the next few weeks, just as I'm looking forward to the Christmas and New Year plans with Sarv and his family. Still, it'll all be kinda bitter-sweet. But... the future looks hopeful from where I stand right now. Sarv will return to Australia but I hope to find myself in Australia too before too long, and I hope I won't be the only one. Same goes for the UK, US, Canada and wherever we can go together just to be together again, if only for a week or 2.

OK, it's late. Better sleep. Looking forward to this weekend, finally Matt and I will see 300, which Sarv will let go unwatched no longer! Looking forward to a lot right now. It's nice.

Peace. Love. "I know it's strange... it's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you... I'm supposed to love you"

OK, I guess not talking about politics didn't get me many bites so.... back to politics! I kinda wanna say this, though....

Barrack Obama won the election and is now the 44th President of the United States. To say I was overjoyed would be an understatement. I think this is amazing, the right move for America and the world. But in amongst all the hysteria I just wanna say a few things to the USA, en masse;

• Obama is a man. A flesh-and-blood man. He will make mistakes and he won't make everyone happy all the time. If and when he makes a mistake do not all jump to write him off. I know the conservatives out there are just waiting for some blood in the water so they can say "I told you so" (despite accusing liberals of whining when they did the same about George W.) Well, G.W managed to amass a cacophony of fuck-ups so, if you didn't want Obama, shut up and let the man do his job. When he's on George's level (ie: breaks international law) then you can bitch. And if you did want Obama, please remember; this man is not the messiah. He is not the second coming and he can't restore blind people's sight or split atoms with his eyelashes or crap gold-plated ferraris. Don't turn on him the minute something doesn't work out exactly as you wanted. 
• Think about the pressure this man is under. His campaign has promised change and it has already delivered by its success alone. I certainly have high hopes but remember, Obama is answerable to, and works via, a system. No one man, no President, can ever be solely responsible for the entire state of their government and country. Rhetoric aside it's just not possible. Be realistic about what to expect.
• Obama has been elected under a tidal wave of hype. The aforementioned pressure would be more than enough without having the blunders of the last administration to deal with. "The Inbox From Hell," as it's been dubbed (thanks to Nathan for drawing my attention to that term!) I'm sure the Republican posse will conveniently forget that it was their boy who left the current president with much of America's current problems and want to heap everything on Obama.
• Some regard George W. Bush as the worst President ever. I don't know if that's true but there's at least some justification to it. However, as I've said, no one President can be totally in control of every element of their nation's running. Even George wasn't to blame for everything! Obama won't be either. 
• America does need change. At least a non-selfish America does. But change is difficult and rarely easy. Deal with it.

OK, not much more to say than that. It all sounded so much more eloquent in my head. All I have left to say is I truly hope Obama's presidency will bring about the positive changes America needs right now and lives up to the hype. But, I'm realistic. So, let's not get carried away watching Obama's every little move and just let him be Pres! Night. I'm off to bed.

EDIT: And now for something completely different. An anecdote and a celebration.

• On Monday I found out that one of my 1st graders thought I still lived in England and flew to Japan and back every single day! Kids are funny!
• My congratulations to my cousin, Rachel. She just gave birth to her first child, a boy named Ernest Atkinson. Congrats, cuz!

Sayonara! "Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis..."