December 5, 2010
-
Feeling A Moment!
Yes. It’s a challenge. I figured this would be a good challenge for me. What you’re supposed to do is just ‘free-write’ for 5 minutes flat. Just set the timer and go. I’m just wondering why it’s the 2010-17 challenge…? Does that mean it’s open for 7 years? That can’t be right as we were set a Dec. 14th deadline. Or is it December 14th 2017? Chri.. I mean, “Kween?”
(In case you were wondering, no. I haven’t started the challenge yet.)
(Now I have.)
So we’re meant to not come into this with a subject in mind, the problem being if I deviate from the thing that’s on my mind right now I will be still violating the terms of the challenge as I’d be rethinking my initial response so what the hell. Kabuki. Now Kabuki’s over I get a lot of my free time back. You’d think I’d be happy about that. Actually I’m rather disappointed. Not to get free time but to not be doing Kabuki. I really enjoyed it this year, not just cos I had a pretty cool role but cos it really does make me feel a part of something and let’s me connect more with my kids outside of the standard role I play in school. It’s weird but connecting with them is really important to me. At first I thought it was just an ego thing; wanting to be a better ALT than anyone else. But ultimately I think I just desire connections. With anyone. I wanna feel part of something, I want to belong somewhere. The irony here is I know I’ll never belong anywhere in Japan, not really. But reasoning does not abate instinct and this is very much instinct for me.
And done.
Funny. I thought I’d write a lot more than that. I thought it’d be far less focused too. But there it is.
Comments (6)
2010-17 means it’s the 17th challenge of 2010. You’re a silly. Apparently someone else had some coffee, too.
Or perhaps something a little stronger?
I get the wanting to be part of something thing. I really really do. Glad Kabuki went well. Thanks for participating! You’ve been linked and rec’d.
I agree – I think on some level we all want to be part of something – to have connections. Interesting post. peace always
I don’t think it’s weird to want to connect with your students — I feel the same way (usually), although it can be harder than it seems sometimes.
You’ve already belonged on smaller scales. You’ll never be Japanese, sure, but on a day to day scale you can definitely be connected, be part of something. Maybe you should get on Mixi and find some Ena-based groups. Could certainly be worth a try, methinks.
Stumbled upon your page, and I feel ya. It sucks to feel like you don’t fit in, especially when it feels like everyone else does. And I think it’s natural to want to belong.
You’ll make it through.
Chin up, though
Okay I should admit you must be fully suited like every time
white topaz | where is Niagara Falls | hot heels