September 29, 2008
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No Reason!
So how about if I did a short update for once….?
There’s little reason for this update, bar the fact that I have a few slight OCD tendencies and I didn’t like the idea of 2 close-together updates at the start of a month then nothing till October. Felt unbalanced. Weird, I know. Another thing I know is how shamefully camera-whoring this profile pic I have up is. I hate my face 99% of the time. Just let me have this, OK…?
So September has not been as bad as my pessimism told me it would but not as good as my optimism told me. Matt, Sarv and I have hung out a little but not as much as our proximity should allow due to Matt’s social life-destroying part-time schedule right now. Work is the usual; I hate getting up in the morning but enjoy myself once I’m at school. 80% of my kids are awesome. Had two 7 year olds climbing on my back today whilst another tried to teach me Shogi. I kinda started to get the hang of it. Had some Aussie homestay kids in my chugakko last Friday which was a fun change, for me and the kids, all-round. Downtime has seen me mostly making my way through Metal Gear Solid 4, watching more Naruto and online, chatting and/or just idling away the time. I actually started writing again too…. Maybe I’ll get round to drawing next? My creative side has always been frustratingly inconsistent and often largely dependant on my relationships with others. My inspiration to draw always came from having a solid group of friends round me, and whom were usually the basis for my endeavours. During my teenage years I had that and drew nonstop. During NUFS that same spark was lit again after a few years of dormancy. It’s been hard to achieve since, though, with said friends scattered far and wide and the commitments and responsibilities of This So-Called Adult Life robbing me of them, and me, and in turn, my creative mindset and inspiration. Working out is much the same. Sarv, Matt and I have managed to visit the NUFS Gym a couple of times together but it’s just not the same. Practically speaking I just can’t put in the hours with working out anymore. Emotionally speaking the knowledge that we can’t, and won’t, be going everyday, all working out together anymore, just leaves me very empty, killing what small motivation I had going in. It’s hard to explain but getting a cut body was only a positive side effect of working out whilst at NUFS. The real motivation was doing something with my friends, my brothers. You guys! We’re still family, in my mind, but now we can’t be together and that makes a huge difference to me…. I doubt anyone has missed the fact it’s been 3 years now since we all arrived at NUFS? Man……
This time of year has always been kinda melancholic for me. Summer ends but the beauty of autumn has yet to set in. It’s this kinda interim period of darkening skies and grim weather. And whilst, in Japan, I am thankful for the cooling weather, the September-blues are definitely in effect right now.
Til next time “Come, break me down…. Bury me, bury me, I am finished with you….”
Comments (15)
wow, first comment. i suppose there are some advantages to being on the other side of the world–everyone over there is still asleep!
great profile pic. definitely wouldn’t call it camera-whoring, though. a lot of your pictures are too dark, i think.
good to see your face.
i’ve only recently discovered 30 seconds to mars. a friend just gave me that cd a few days ago, actually. very glad you’re writing again. i’ll cross my fingers for the drawing. you should, definitely, but you’ve heard that from me more than a few times so i don’t want to overdo it. you should draw, though.
by the way, did i mention that i think it would be a good idea if you started drawing again? that’d be awesome.
you and i should both find the motivation to get to the gym again. let’s go.
i love fall, but yes, there is that melancholy… is japan particularly hot?
Dave, you have a poetic side I didn’t know of, it’s heart-warming ^^
Yeah it’s been three years. It’s actually hard to believe, when I left NUFS I thought my degree was sooo far away, and so was returning to Japan. But it turns out to be closer than I thought, and it’s also hard to think I’ve managed to not lose you guys in the process seeing as I’m so bad at keeping in touch. Really, three years since it all started… Well I want to see you draw more !!
And I think it’s great you’re so close to the kids, again a side of you I had not known. Well you’re just full of surprises now aren’t you !!
Hey, maybe you guys can all take early retirement and become cut old men at the NUFS gym? Something to look forward to?
Nice supermodel shot, by the way.
Someone’s got to update again by the end of the month, and apparently it isn’t going to be me, despite my intentions.
Early fall does have that feeling to it. I kind of enjoy it in a way, though. In a self-indulgent emo kinda way. I’m glad to see you writing again. I haven’t left any comments on it yet, but I rarely ever leave real comments on friends’ poetry. I have a hard time knowing what to say. Poetry is a very intuitive thing for me, both when reading and writing it. It’s there for me, I feel it, and I’m affected by it. But I rarely have any coherent thoughts to share about it, so sorry if I don’t comment on all the new stuff. Maybe I’ll just leave some eporops to let you know that I’ve read and appreciated it.
I was talking with Sarv after the gym today, and I had a kind of random idea. I was thinking the three of us should choreograph a really sweet fight and whenever we can get together just break into the routine. At parks, on campus, in the city, karaoke parking lots… If nothing else, we could film it for funzies and use it in a new mini-movie.
Wanna know something else that’s indulgent? Using your secret xanga to give yourself e-props!
@mercurialmusic - Japan WAS hot. Horribly humid. Now it’s not, small mercy that it is
@hieichan - Seem there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Dids…..!
@hlcampbell - That really does sound appealing, Holly. The thought of retiring to a life like I House? I’d like nothing better. It’d just be nice if I could be 25 again to do it, rather than 65…..
@the_greatest_pip - please do comment, Matt. I too write and read intuitively. It’s one of the areas you and I are actually exactly alike on, I think. I don’t ask for anything specific… Just… be intuitive
Actually…. you of all people should definitely try and figure out what the 3rd poem is about. It’s the kinda thing only I could write a poem about…. (Chris, no telling!)
I love that idea too! Let’s do it!
@ill_made_knight - I’ve read the third poem and have a notion, but I’d rather read it a few more times before reaching any conclusions about it
Ouinnn well hell if it’s my fault for not knowing a lot about you, I’m bad at keeping track I told you, + I was never part of your group of crazy bibigun/training etc. people !! Hey you’re the one that said I was kinda introvert remember, but it’s nice to discover things little by little !
@hieichan - Calming waves, soothing music, peaceful sky….. Breath, dear Dierdre. Breath, and be at peace….
I wasn’t having a go. Just making an observation.
@the_greatest_pip - That’s cool. It’ll be fun if you do get it, but I don’t mind if not. I really don’t expect or ask people to even care about what I write, much less try and “analyse” it. Like we both say, it’s all done intuitively anyway
Well I can’t believe nobody else has said this so far, but in response to your photo comments above… I hate your face 100% of the time! Um… your face?
Conflicting schedules and such does hamper things, depressingly so, and I’d like to use my crazy work schedule as an excuse for not being on PSN so much of late. Speaking of which, what’s your progress on getting online and being able to connect for some MGO? Any light at the end of the tunnel?
Would be absolutely awesome to be able to gym together as a team regularly, but that would probably mean we’d have to live really close… in fact that would be a really really cool recreation of NUFS life – I mean renting a large house (what, in Japan?) and living with close friends, or more accurately family!
Why hasn’t there been any 30 seconds to mars at karaoke yet? As a side note, they’re also one of Shiho’s favourite bands, and I particularly like the song you quoted ^_^b
I for one like your display picture on here. =]
I read what you said, but i really don’t know what to say. =S
I guess i am a bad person?
but its all good; glad you updated.
-Stacey-
i feel ya on the septemeber blues bit. i think mine may continue into october though since today is october 1st and i still feel like DOOK! i miss talking to you. i hope you are well.
oh and i read matthew’s comment and i agree! i think you guys should make another mini-movie!! those are always good.. what happened to the old ones anyway? where can i find them?
Well Dave, I feel yeah. You know it’s sorta bittersweet. I am wishing I could be transported back, especially now. Life sucks sometimes. This Summer has been a season of crap to the tenth power, and it’s still coming down. Nufs was so surreal. I almost hate having been through it.
Anyways…you need to draw. I wish I could like you. It’s amazing you have the ability to create your own world like that. Do it.
Yeah.. i think autumn is my favorite season. Its kinda melancholic. The best is to take walks at night once the trees are bare and the ground is covered in dead leaves. A crow calls out a single time in the chill night. Being able to see the large moon between bare tree branches. Wisps of vapor from your breath fading, too fast.
But in a way, being able to indulge in melancholy like that kind of makes my days better.
I wish i could draw