September 16, 2006
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DOA (Ain’t No Way…!)
Bloody hell!!! OK! How do you top off a relatively pleasant day of walks in the country and stupid movies!? If you’re David Benjamin Moss (that would be me, btw!) you get yourself a nice speeding fine and potential driving ban just days from having to drive 112 miles up the country to attend your final year of University! I live in hope now that the 6 points on my licence will not qualify me to be stripped of my licence (the website says 12 points are necessary) but dread the inevitable fine that will further wound my bank account, which is already on a respiratory system and taking its food through a plastic tube! (Doctors fear the worst!) Time for a rant about the UK speed laws, methinks…!
Anyone who lives here in the good ol’ U of K (OK, that doesn’t work…) will know all about speed cameras. They are posted on virtually every roadside in the country, awaiting some overzealous fool to do, say, 40 mph in a 30 mph zone! (Looks around conspicuously…) The theory is to deter drivers from speeding and punish those who do. I can’t argue with that as a theory… its just many believe the real reason behind them is not speed deterrence at all. Rather they are designed as yet another way for the government to snatch more cash out of the people’s pocket! Many cameras are strategically placed where drivers are most likely to be going above the limit, not necessarily in areas where said speed might endanger lives. Speed limits are generally fixed too. It makes no difference what time of day it is. The fact is, I was doing 40 in a 30 zone near a school… thus I can totally understand the need for safety in this area. However, it was 11:30 at night! No kids. No anyone! Whats more, said camera is positioned at the bottom of the hill, after the school gates! Whilst a car coming in the opposite direction, that would need to slow down before the school, will be about to drive uphill, which should do the job of preventing them from hurtling past said school at 40! Anyone caught by the camera coming the way I was will already have painted their car in “hint of teenager” by the time the camera flashes to tell them they are endangering lives! And since the camera is at the bottom of the hill, gravity will be aiding in that whole “going fast” thing! Smells like “screw the public” to me. The fact is, everyone goes over the limit! The national speed limit is 70 mph yet on the motorway, you can be doing 75 and have every last car zipping past you! What makes a driver a threat is carelessness, not speed. Had it been day and there been a real chance of my speed being a danger, I would have been doing the appropriate speed and, more importantly, driving with the due care and attention needed not to kill anyone! It was night. There was noone around. Bah! Grrrrr!!
OK, OK! I should probably just admit I did wrong and take it! In fact, I have been done for the exact same offence before! (D’oh!) I am not the most restrained driver in the world! I am a bit of a speed freak! I know and appreciate the need for laws on speed. Nothing is more important than someone’s life. Its just I wish the world would use more human judgement and rely less on generalised and inflexible laws! Problem is… I am defiant. Always have been! I’ve just gotta fight the system!!! Its a sickness…..! Ahhh well! Hit me with the fine and get it over with! 
The day had been good before all that! Nathan, Dave (Hallrus) and I went to Bradgate Park, an area of woodland in neighbouring Leicestershire for some of that English countryside y’all hear so much about (I apologise for my use of “y’all”! It was wrong of me.) Poor old Dave is not really the outdoors-y type! We then took in the new DOA: Dead Or Alive movie! (And the reason for my title finally becomes apparent!) What can I say….? It was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!! Really bad! (Apparently, when a ninja leaves their clan, they become a “shinobi”! If you know anything about ninja, you will be laughing as hard as Nathan and I did! It would appear they have the same researchers as the guys who made Mortal Kombat!) Hey, it was entertaining enough, and better than the Streetfighter movie, at least! I had been after some goofy action entertainment and I got my wish, although I had been hoping for more on the action and less on the goofy! Oh well. It made me smile, at least until that speed camera zapped me! At least I have now found a song which seems to be able to cheer me up, whatever mood I’m in. Thats a good thing, right…? Matt….? Dani….? You want me to be more positive? I should listen to this song, right…? Well, here we go…
”There you go
You’re always so right
It’s all a big show
It’s all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time
to criticize me
It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can’t get it right
It’s like I’m the one
you love to hate
But not today…”
I love ya peeps! Later! “…Soooo Shut Up, Shut Up, Shut Up! Don’t wanna hear it…”
Comments (17)
First!
any way in Austrlia the radio stations have speed camera watch, where they read out a list of the locations where speed traps are for that day and so on. good to hear your looking on the bright side of semi-govermental atrocities unto Moss.
oops…sorry. it happens to lots of nice people, though. mark even got a speeding ticket several weeks ago. if i get one it will be about time. i don’t drive dangerously but i do speed.
yet another new chibi? beautifully done, as always.
what young man rogers doesn’t seem to realise is how easy you guys have it in the UK. all of your speed cameras are fixed right? ours are randomly hidden in the bushes at different places on different days. Much like you, usually in places where you are most likely to be speeding and the government is most likely to make money. Here in japan however, you can do up to 30 kph over the limit and not get zapped. Of course the limits are ridiculously low, so there are times that 30ks over still seems incredibly slow.
Still on the topic of stupid road laws, have you ever had an mp use this argument: 1. young driver (probably drunk) dies on road while going at 100kph over the speed limit 2. this is not good 3. therefore we need to lower the speed limit. I have heard this argument many times. I stand by the fact that drivers doing 100 in a 100 zone are not dangerous, it is the tired/drunk/speeding/stupid drivers that are dangerous. okay thats my rant over with too.
Movie sounds hell dodgy.
here is a song lyric appropriate for the day:
“so you don’t want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say
god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i’m on fire…”
David!
I love you Dave
At least one of us is going out and doing stuff!
David
I have nothing to say but
PANDA PANDA PANDA PANDA!!
Well I do talk to you like every other day anyway lol
hey bro! sorry, i don’t get online that much lately. i hope the whole driving fine and penalty scenario works out the best possible for you. you are good people!
p.s.
i saw muse last week……
they were incredible! chat at ya later.-Bryant
I’m about to delete this peice of crap.. Yeah i am very depressed.. I hvaen’t felt all that good.. So yeah i dyed my hair black.. it looks awesome!
Oh, that sucks! Good luck, tickets are never fun. I bet a lot of us Americans are lucky there aren’t speed cameras everywhere we go (and I don’t think we exactly have that kind of a system for losing your license!). Urg, what a set up!
Okay Robin, you think you got it bad? Get ready…
Coming back up to uni I had my first experience of ‘average speed test zones’ on the M6, the big road leading up North. I wasn’t driving, but I was still shocked by the anal, money grabbing bastardry inherent in this scheme. It works like this;
1.You drive along the motorway, and a camera sees you.
2.You drive, you drive, you drive.
3.Another camera sees you.
If, during step 2, you speed went over forty miles an hour, chances are you will have reached step 3 too quickly, and if your time between steps one and three is too short, you get fined. The really annoying thing is you don’t immediately know when the cameras stop, they can go on to steps 4,5,6,7, etc, if we stay with the steps explanation thing from before.
Maybe everyone had already experienced this, but it was a first for me. The stupid thing is, you end up spending so much time focusing on where the next camera is, you’re less likely to be paying attention to the road. Silliness.
i’m with you on that. you should write a letter to a government official.
damn straight – i can’t drive so i can’t really say i know what it’s like personally but i’m going on what i know so sorry iof this is a bit a moo point:
even on normal roads, if you’r going to fast it’s class as speeding obv, but if your going to slow you get done for slowing down the flow of traffic… i think “dutch door action” fits the bill perfectly.
Yep. Okay Balex. That really sucks. You win.
Thats pretty sucky! Compared to South Australia. Speed cameras are only placed at single intersections, and although the locations change every week, each day on the morning and night time news they tell you exactly where they all are!!! AHAHAH it makes NO sense!! Why would you tell people cos then we all just drive slower on those roads and speed everywhere else!!
It reminds me of that guy from UHF “You so stooopid!!” and “Supplies!!”… you know what I mean ^_^
ouch sorry. they have a lot of those camera in the states too. my dad’s been caught multiple times yet he still drives like a maniac. *hands you your lightsaber* here, go bash something to bits…preferably not me lol it’ll make you feel better : )
i love that song too! i’ve practically destroyed two simple plan still no getting any… cds because i listen to them so often! anyway…
drive safely!~rae: )
Still as a DOA fan boy i think i will have to go see the movie…just as i had to go and hire out Starship Troopers II…and boy that was a mistake
David Moss of England, friend of the Lott clan and master of the arts, will you please indulge my egotistical impulses and draw me a caricature? (:P)