July 16, 2006
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Back “Home!”
Well, here I am! I’m home. In a manner of speaking. Its such a weird feeling. This place is so familiar and yet I’ve just spent the past year feeling like a small suburb of Nagoya is my home and my fellow ryugakusei (exchange students), my family! Slowly I’m readjusting to being back home but I’ve spent most of the day on the computer, trying to lay the foundations for the 2nd stage of our relationships… the long distance, xanga, e-mail and chat room based stage! Not to mention the reunions and traveling we have planned. Its still hard to swallow, the fact that none of us will ever have the same kind of life together again, though. I House is not our home anymore and we’ll never spend another year where we can just knock on each others doors and be together. Its thoughts like that that have been causing me to break down sobbing every 5 minutes! I guess I just have to adjust to this new stage in our friendships, but I’ve never been in this situation before so I guess its no wonder I’m scared to death!
I’ll be unconventional and save my update of our last few days in Japan til next time! For now I’ll just say when I wrote my “Its Love, Make It Hurt” update I had no idea! However much the anticipation hurt, it was NOTHING compared to the actual thing! Matt and I left I House in our taxi, our friends waving us off! At the airport I was bombarded by problems, the first being that my luggage was over the weight limit and the surplus would cost me 50,000 yen!!! (Thats £250 or $500!) Matt came through again and took one of my bags with him, ready for me to pick up when I go to his wedding next week! Then I had to fill out separate forms cos I no longer had my Gaijin Card (I still dunno what happened to it!), which made reaching our plane by the boarding time pretty tense! On our flight to Tokyo, it finally set in and I broke down sobbing and convulsing with Matt’s arm round my shoulders, offering me the friendship and support he always has! But I knew that in a few hours, that would be gone and the pain got too much. Then we parted at the gate to my flight to London and I spent an 11 hour flight feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life! If it hadn’t been for an exceptionally kind stewardess named Bianca, who found me a more roomy seat, regular drinks and came to talk to me throughout the flight I probably would have broken down completely!
I arrived in the UK at 4:35pm and was met by both my brothers, Chris and Rich! I broke down crying again as I hugged them. The first time 9 year old Richard has seen his big brother vulnerable I guess! We drove back to my Dad’s house near Stratford-On-Avon in Chris’ shiny new car and had dinner where I cried some more and talked about how much this year and the friends I’ve made means to me and how utterly terrified I am right now! We then returned home. I slept somewhat randomly last night, inspite of my sleep-deprivation! Since we left I House, everytime I close my eyes I see the people there, hear their voices and it kills me to think I’ll never be there again! Since Matt and I parted, it got worse. He tells me he keeps it together via a mixture of ignorance and faith! I’m not sure about the ignorance part, but I admire his faith. I wish I could be as strong! I know we’ll meet again at the wedding next week, but we’ll have to say goodbye again too. I’ve been spoiled I guess… getting to live with so many awesome people! I wish I could walk to Matt’s room and talk with him for hours like we used to! I wish we could start making Star Wars jokes and references with Sarv, that we could go to the gym and workout together, along with CAlex, Mike, Mario, Carter and Clif! I wish we could go hang in Kellie’s room like we did over the break! That we could play airsoft, mess around with lightsabers, everything! I guess I better start wishing for new things now! Regular online chats and e-mails, xanga-interaction and the hope of us seeing each other again for trips in Japan, Australia, Canada, the US and here in the UK! This is a new experience for me and I’m scared to death! I guess I just gotta have faith…
Comments (13)
Faith is the substance of things hoped for…the evidence of things not seen…
See you in a few days.
~Blessings~
hey, this is matt. my mom is still logged in, and i don’t wanna log her off.
i’m glad to know you are in the UK and mostly OK. i can’t wait to see you in the US when you can hang out with US. i love and miss you, buddy. my skin’s not adamantium, i assure you.
Yeah Its like waking up from a long good dream, coming home. It took some getting used to. being back home was like reverse culture shock. I started a Post NUFS support group made up of students who went to nufs from 2004 to 2006. Talking to them about how much we missed Mos burger or how we missed Goto-San really helped. also emailing my friends helped too. I think I almost cried when my friends from english lounge sent me a card for my birthday. I still really miss Achi-ken, Nisshin-shi. Hang in there
p.s. tag, youre it!
you admire matthew? why would you do that? he’s only a turd.
a soft and mushy turd that looks hard but is only soft and mushy.
Yeah, I get to revisit places where we shared so much. Places that are now empty.
But I have faith that we will see each other again, some time.
It makes it a bit easier.
i am sorry.. that probably didnt leave the best “first impression”
i better be nice to boys who look like orlando bloom.
oh my goodness.
bless you.
The sorrow!!!
Yeah its pretty sabishii being here in I-house but with niether friends or family. Busy packing probably keeps my mind off it. Nevertheless, I still think about how emotional our last karaoke was. I was trying so hard not to break down, but after shou started i had to bit my lip really hard for ten minutes… but i eventually cracked. Well, its natural emotion.
orlando bloom is the hottest thing since krispy kreme donuts.
most girls agree. have you ever had krispy kreme? if not, tell matthew he owes you a dozen for you coming out for his wedding.. i think that is awesome that you are doing that. seriously awesome. make sure you try krispy kreme while you are here. i insist.
Well it is a saying that Matthew used to have on his Xanga a long time ago. So when do you leave for America?
Yours truly,
Matthew
NONSENSE. matthew has shown me videos and pictures of you guys. if your face makes you cringe, you need to see a therapist
I will be at orientation for the uni I am going to. Please pray for me that all goes well on that….By the way do you believe in God?
Just curious is all.
Yours truly,
Matthew
hey mosster, how would you feel about being an usher at the wedding? it means you would be greeting people and helping them find their seats. it also means you would need to wear your suit and tie. how about it, mister mosster?